The Edinburgh Fringe programme has a section Spoken Word, it makes me smile, I mean, duh, yeah, unless it’s mime (probably in Dance, Physical theatre and Circus) or sung (covered in Music and Musicals and Opera). It seems to be a grey area, when are words just spoken?… monologues just seem to be placed wherever the performer best thinks the title will catch the eye, does Spoken Word sound a trifle too dry to them? Comedy and Theatre take in performances alluding to being more, even Cabaret (I would expect a certain pazzazz there), but those are big categories to compete for attention. A good title may actually stand out better in this smaller category filled with interview shows and talks/lectures; the lists of these go on a fair bit – there’s just short of a hundred, nope, not for me. Only three shows piqued my interest…

Call me old-fashioned, I like large paper maps, I still have all the Official Tourist Maps that I bought for various holidays back over the years. X marks the spots of various campsites and pubs, well, you never know, I might still make it back that way some day! So when I saw Mistakes on Maps I immediately reached for the scissors, a show about historical maps each with a fascinating flaw? I could go for that. Let People Like You had me at “expect saucy ostriches”, Free Fringe too, a definite possibility. The third I’ll admit is just a vague possibility but I think worth cutting out so that I’ll remember it’s on. Adorable Comedians Performing Funny Poetry and Telling Lovely Stories has the potential to be a warm fuzzy hug of a show or somewhat cringey, depending on the line-up, a foremention on who’s on each day might entice me (or not).

I don’t really expect to see anything much in Dance, Physical Theatre and Circus but I’ll always check through it (well, my fomo makes me). The blurb for Final Queen mentions “blood-soaked hula hooping”, horror and it’s antipodean (always a bonus point); it’s a full run so I can watch out for reviews before deciding. There’s only three performances of The Masquerade, I have no idea what the picture is about, a masquerade deity lives in someone’s stomach?! Hmmm, but I found myself cutting it out, okay.

Now was the time to go to the beginning, Cabaret and Variety. I just got curious there, when did this section appear? I was sure it didn’t use to be there, hmm. A quick dive into the shelves behind me and indeed, Cabaret first got it’s own section in the programme in 2011, Variety was added to it in 2015 (were there meetings debating whether such nuances should be recognised? handbags and hissy fits thrown?!) I wonder, will Magic and Burlesque be next? There’s an awful lot of magic in C&V, plenty of which appears under PBH’s Free Fringe, yay (please remember while these shows are free entry, only a real schmuck would leave without giving anything, don’t be that person). The busiest magician on the Fringe is back with two shows, full runs not a single day off, David Alnwick always puts on a great show. The blurb shows that one goes for humour, while the other, as Alnwick likes to do, is more theatrical, that one’s in the Speakeasy at the Voodoo Rooms (a great setting for a spooky show).

Another magician who’s played the Fringe plenty is Charlie Caper, I’ve never gotten round to seeing him before; his key words are magic and variety, maybe this year? The Cult of Astaroth promises magic and horror at the Banshee Labyrinth, a fitting venue! A title that immediately held my gaze was Dan Bastianelli: The Boy Who Drew Doors, magic with storytelling, I get an impression of whimsiness, no bad thing, as is the venue theSpace@Surgeons’ Hall (a place that I’ve seen plenty of great shows). One more magic show cut-out, this one illustrates my earlier point as The Man With the Golden Hands – Stuart Lightbody was listed under Theatre in 2024; it tells a true story of a magician recruited by the CIA, yeah, a possibility.

There’s plenty and allsorts of musical choices in C&V, of course. Fingers Piano Bar is the place for ABBA singalongs, and for two nights only Alice Cooper – Welcome To My Cabaret Nightmare, that could be excellent fun (or really naff). I do quite fancy the tribute to Tom Waits in the Voodoo Rooms, will it be a dip into everything, or the more accessible? (some of his stuff I really can’t get). Last but definitely not least, that grande dame of fruit is back, the incomparable Dame Granny Smith is once again in The Wee Coo in George Square Gardens. No doubt there’ll be a song or two from her, let’s hope her voice holds out as she’s on from the first preview day right through until the (real) final day, Monday 31st, with only one day off.

So far so good, my pile of possibilities isn’t ridiculously large, yet. Just the big two, Theatre and Comedy are left; the Theatre section alone is thicker than the whole of the 2001 Fringe programme, yikes. How’s anyone supposed to choose these days?

Toodle pips!