I know my onions, yes I do

Have you seen the price of onions lately? Okay, so I don’t pay much attention to the price of staples usually, but when a bag of three, yes, three is £1.10 in the local Tesco’s!! In a bag too (why?), I prefer to pick my own, especially at that price (bagged vegetables have a nasty habit of having the odd dodgy one, don’t you find?) No, I didn’t buy any onions there. And breathe.

I missed the anniversary of the first Bruce On The Fringe Fringe Awards yesterday. I say I missed, hmm, missed or procrastinated the entire day?! The double Fringe there was deliberate, by the way, in case of any non-Fringe Awards I choose to bestow in the future, you never know. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook (and why not??) you may have noticed the latest pic on my storyline featuring flyers and cut-outs, and so, without further ado,

Mesdames et monsieurs, ceux entre et ceux au-delà, welcome to the Bruce on The Fringe Fringe Awards 2023!

Best Epic Fantasy Adventure: Shadow Kingdom

Best Double Feature: Voloz Collective with The Man Who and The Life Sporadic

The Pugwash Trophy: Max Norman: A Pirate’s Life For Me

As the Actress Said: to the Bishops

Best Flounce: Yippee Ki Yay

Best Bedcaps: Finlay and Joe: Past Our Bedtime

Best Blood and Gore: How to Eat a Bear

Best Game of Jenga (ever): Laser Kiwi: Rise of the Olive

Best Docucomedy: The Last Gun

Loveliest Fringe Thing: Mark Twain’s The Stolen White Elephant

Best Fringe Follow-up: Grubby Little Mitts: Hello, Hi

Most Beguiling Poster: Ginzel’s Little Cordoba: A Double Bill

Best Aidan on the Fringe: joint winners, Aidan Goatley and Aidan Sadler

Yes, maybe a couple pictured didn’t make the final cut but they were so so close. And what? No Best Musical Moment nominees this year?! Nope, my favourite, hands down winner will be on Instagram shortly. That’s it from me, and thank you to everyone who brought shows to Edinburgh this August, I may not be real, but for a few weeks there you made me feel alive ❤️

I got hugs today, yay

Well, this has been a marvellous day so far, and in a bit I’ll be heading up to Stramash for The Buccaneers, yay. I was there last night for The Scat Rats and Mr Marah will be back there again Friday night at ten o’clock on Hurricane duty. Very exciting though, is tomorrow evening in Stramash as the Ol’Times are back in town for a few days!! Needless to say, I’ll be in there for seven, and the following evening the same time in Whistlebinkies and finally Binkies midnight on Saturday (you’ve gotta get it while you can).

This afternoon I bumped into two of the loveliest people on the Fringe, both of whom I had no idea were coming to Edinburgh this year until about 24 hours ago, and both called Aidan! First up Aidan Sadler looking fabulous as ever, flyering a last minute organised show at theSpace on the Mile. Then blow me, just a minute later, only Aidan Goatley! Back up, back on the Free Fringe with that brilliant show 10 Films With My Dad this time it’s the Director’s Cut! One of my favourite all-time Fringe shows, yes it’s that good, well, he is the loveliest man on the Fringe.

And on the subject of great shows, I don’t think I’ve mentioned how brilliant Laser Kiwi: Rise of the Olive is, bloody brilliant! Their acrobatic skills combined with spot-on comic timing make for a thrillingly hilarious show. You’ll never see Jenga played like this anywhere else! ☆☆☆☆☆

Bishops at Gilded Balloon Patter Hoose is another cracking show, Chris and Noah have very strange minds, indeed, but they sure know how to subvert expectations. Honestly, they had me half gasping, half laughing at some of their sketch endings. Oh, and I bet I wasn’t the only one to google a certain fruit after I’d left! ☆☆☆☆½

Time for some buccaneering, me hearties! Toodle pip!