I know my onions, yes I do

Have you seen the price of onions lately? Okay, so I don’t pay much attention to the price of staples usually, but when a bag of three, yes, three is £1.10 in the local Tesco’s!! In a bag too (why?), I prefer to pick my own, especially at that price (bagged vegetables have a nasty habit of having the odd dodgy one, don’t you find?) No, I didn’t buy any onions there. And breathe.

I missed the anniversary of the first Bruce On The Fringe Fringe Awards yesterday. I say I missed, hmm, missed or procrastinated the entire day?! The double Fringe there was deliberate, by the way, in case of any non-Fringe Awards I choose to bestow in the future, you never know. If you follow me on Instagram or Facebook (and why not??) you may have noticed the latest pic on my storyline featuring flyers and cut-outs, and so, without further ado,

Mesdames et monsieurs, ceux entre et ceux au-delà, welcome to the Bruce on The Fringe Fringe Awards 2023!

Best Epic Fantasy Adventure: Shadow Kingdom

Best Double Feature: Voloz Collective with The Man Who and The Life Sporadic

The Pugwash Trophy: Max Norman: A Pirate’s Life For Me

As the Actress Said: to the Bishops

Best Flounce: Yippee Ki Yay

Best Bedcaps: Finlay and Joe: Past Our Bedtime

Best Blood and Gore: How to Eat a Bear

Best Game of Jenga (ever): Laser Kiwi: Rise of the Olive

Best Docucomedy: The Last Gun

Loveliest Fringe Thing: Mark Twain’s The Stolen White Elephant

Best Fringe Follow-up: Grubby Little Mitts: Hello, Hi

Most Beguiling Poster: Ginzel’s Little Cordoba: A Double Bill

Best Aidan on the Fringe: joint winners, Aidan Goatley and Aidan Sadler

Yes, maybe a couple pictured didn’t make the final cut but they were so so close. And what? No Best Musical Moment nominees this year?! Nope, my favourite, hands down winner will be on Instagram shortly. That’s it from me, and thank you to everyone who brought shows to Edinburgh this August, I may not be real, but for a few weeks there you made me feel alive ❤️

The Final Push

At the start it stretches ahead, but now it’s shortening unseemingly quickly. Now it’s the beginning of the final weekend, hoards descend upon the town from Down South, party time! Then from the aftermath of Saturday night, everything just fizzles out. Sunday morning some shows and venues are already packing up. Still, one more blow out on Sunday night, hey? Before more packing up with sore heads Monday morning.

Monday the last remaining flyerers will scrabble around looking for the last punters, it can be quite tragic to witness! Those final few are probably very glad to depart what feels like a ghost town by Tuesday. Yes, I know it isn’t, dur, but for those few Fringe workers still around, all the Fringey places that were so full of life are now empty. Like I’ve said before, let’s end the Fringe on the Sunday, hey, the official start day has been brought forward over the years, so too can the end date.

Anyway, there’s flyering to be done and shows to see, a Half Price Hut to check. I’m not sure how much the HPH list gets updated this year, there may be some additions later on?! I notice that Mark Twain’s The Stolen White Elephant (5☆ from me) and How to Eat a Bear (4☆) are on there again.

Also on, I saw them the other night but haven’t got to writing a review, the utterly fabulous (and even more talented than I’d perceived them to be from our many chats) Aidan Sadler with their new show Melody, well worth 5☆. All their own songs too! Not on the HPH list yet, but it has appeared plenty, Yippee Ki Yay, I saw it yesterday, intrigued as it’s a different actor from last year and oh boy, so, so, so glad I went 5☆!

Oo, just glanced out of my window, it’s teeming down out there!! Jeepers! On the one hand flyering will be bloody soggy, on the other, folk will be more inclined to go indoors. This last week has been mostly sunshine with gentle warm breezes, folk wanted to make the most of it, not sit in stuffy dark rooms in the middle of the day.

Ah well, no rest for the wicked! I must have caffeine and away, but I’ll leave you with a quick list of shows that I’ve enjoyed this year, for your consideration this final weekend. I’ve scribbled it down quickly from looking at my Fringe schedule, so some may not be on any more.

Have a great day, whatever you’re doing, mes amis!

An elephant, a bear and a little philosophy

Is it just me or is this Fringe a tad quieter than last year? Oh, it is busy, but just nicely busy, transversing Royal Mile is actually quite easy! Okay, so there’s the usual blob of bodies standing watching a street performer, but apart from that it’s a doddle. Again there’s no craft stalls by St Giles, just a few sketch artists, shame, I liked them there; neither are there any on the Mound by the art galleries, nor on the recently reopened walkway to Playfair Steps (okay so that could be hard to negotiate at times, but it was fun and bustling).

In fact there’s not much at all going on by the galleries apart from a pop-up bar, like we needed another one! Why still no new Half Price Hut there? Really, no sponsors could be found, at all? Major publicity like that? This six o’clock closing at the Box Office is nonsense, and they’re charging booking fees too! Come on Edinburgh Fringe, as I said last year, it’s very little help to the later evening shows when folk can’t get to a box office in an evening to take up the deals on offer.

I did procure two HPH tickets yesterday, I’d had an eye out for them appearing on the list and yes, my Fringe-dar is in fine working order; two of my favourite venues too! Paradise in The Vault and Greenside @ Infirmary Street. First off Mark Twain’s The Stolen White Elephant was a joy, just one man telling a wonderfully funny absurd tale (supplanted from America to Salford and around the UK).

What a storyteller! He kept me captivated as he told us about Jumbo the white elephant from Siam, and Inspector Blunt’s attempts to catch the thieves. The language is so gloriously old-fashioned and hilarious, plenty harrumphing and tushing, and telegrams flying everywhere! Great incidental music too, it really added to the experience. Just one thing, a screen set up to show illustrations wasn’t working at the performance I saw, a shame but our storyteller was so eloquent my imagination easily filled in the blanks. A wonderful hour ☆☆☆☆☆

Luckily the rain had stopped when I stepped out of Paradise in The Vault, so I had a wander through up to Teviot Square to take in the fringeyness (again noting that it’s not so busy as I’ve known it), before heading to Infirmary Street. This venue is an old school, a proper old school building, go to a show there just to see it! I went to find out How to Eat a Bear or how not to, as two slackers Mark and Dave find out.

These two slackers have absolutely no redeeming features, they will never become better human beings, they are truly awful (think Bill & Ted but even worse). If you haven’t been put off by what I just wrote, if you like American slacker movies then this is the show for you, you will love it! It is very funny, sharp, dark in places (oh, the Bill Cosby joke!!) and it should be a good time in the evening for it’s intended audience (a shame there were as many working on the show as in the audience when I saw it). Yup, How to Eat a Bear is a lot of fun ☆☆☆☆

As I seem to be reviewing in threes, I’ll just throw the charming Alex Farrow in here. His new show Alex Farrow: Wisdom of the Crowd at Cabaret Voltaire is another hour of philosophical fun. This is the third year I’ve seen him, he just gets better and better; he’s engaging and interesting, I could quite happily listen to him for much longer! ☆☆☆☆☆

That’s your lot for now, I’m off out. Toodle pip!