Hello! Sorry but I’ve lost my spark, I don’t know where I put it, or even when I last had it, honestly I’ve looked everywhere, so I’m just going to start writing, hope it takes pity on me and makes an appearance. There’s still this year’s Brucies to announce, you know, the Bruce On The Fringe Fringe Awards, this is something I really need my spark back for, to come up with award categories. So I’m just gonna waffle about anything that pops into my head or that I can find scrawled in my notebook – still reading are you? Hahaha.
Notebook scrawls, I have plenty of those, quick notes written to remind myself of bits in shows, written with only the briefest glances down into the gloom. Often ineligible in the light and occasionally written over other notes that I didn’t notice were already on the page. Sometimes I’ll write a line thinking it will good a starting place, yeah, umm, what was that about? Those scrawls can be sitting there a long time, but recently I got tough and ripped plenty out. One still in there – do you enjoy laughing?
That line, do you enjoy laughing, was asked me by a flyerer. She was so lucky I didn’t pause to give a reply, I think I was on my way somewhere so dismissed the temptation as I didn’t have any time to spare. See, it immediately took me back years ago to when a friend of a friend told me I would like some band or other because – well, I like music, ergo, I’d like that music. What!?!? Huh? Our mutual friend managed to keep a straight face, inwardly howling with laughter as he knew I would hate them (I could see it in his eyes as he held back the tears). Back to the flyerer, I remember thinking as I strode away that I could have replied, “What makes you think your show’s funny enough to make anyone laugh?” Ouch, mean that, I kinda surprised myself, on the other hand, had I had the time to chat, a valid question.
Yes, I’ve seen the bloody rain – probably written one night in Whistlebinkies. This is about the old Creedence Clearwater Revival song, up there with I’m A Believer as songs I wouldn’t miss if I never heard them again, on the other hand, within a set of music that I do want to hear, it provides time for a loo break. See, I do look for the positives! Oh, and I don’t dislike either song, just, nah.
Did you know that in Holyrood Park there’s a patch of raspberry canes? Not a big patch, but not tiny either, reckon if I go at just the right time of year I could pick enough for a few jars of jam and the odd pie. Yes, I’ve made a note on my calendar to go check it out next summer; and no, I’m not going to divulge it’s exact location (they’re mines!!) And on the Park, I just noticed the other day that the fences were away from the start of the Radical Road at the Powderhouse Corner end, yay (quite how long I’ve been walking past without noticing, well!) It’s just reopened as far as the old quarry, with plenty of warning signs everywhere. I’ve been wandering up to the top of Salisbury Crags for the beautiful skies at dusk, a tad scary once it gets darker (it would have been for the no-doubt magnificent sunsets, if I could just get the timing right).
Oo, must mention how brave I was at Cineworld a couple of weeks ago. I was there to see Hope, a Korean monster sci-fi movie. It was midafternoon, only a few in, two of those few kept bloody talking to each other, just loud and often enough to put a dent on my enjoyment. One chap a few rows in front of them did move across the room, I vaguely considered it but I was in a great spot so felt disinclined to give up such a prime location. Another guy got up and went over to tell them to shut up, they did, for about five minutes. Emboldened by his action, I decided it was time to make a stand myself (here I should mention I was in the row behind them about eight or nine seats along), so I snuck along to right behind them … “Will you two either shut the fuck up or fuck off!” Oh, how they jumped, I gave them the meanest glare I could muster and went back to my seat. Reader, not another peep was heard!
Nearly time to sleep, hopefully I’ll keep the momentum going and write again tomorrow. Maybe I can build up to announcing the winners of this year’s Brucies at the weekend, hmmm, as the clocks go back, Bruce takes a look back at this year’s Fringe, oh yes, that sounds good. But like I said before, I haven’t even decided on categories yet; see back in 2022 I was inspired by the wonderfully bonkers ACMS Awards, it was like the culmination of a month of absurdities, my spark was crackling, fizzing with all kinds of silly. Ho hum. Goodnight!

