How to entice a spark back

Hello! Sorry but I’ve lost my spark, I don’t know where I put it, or even when I last had it, honestly I’ve looked everywhere, so I’m just going to start writing, hope it takes pity on me and makes an appearance. There’s still this year’s Brucies to announce, you know, the Bruce On The Fringe Fringe Awards, this is something I really need my spark back for, to come up with award categories. So I’m just gonna waffle about anything that pops into my head or that I can find scrawled in my notebook – still reading are you? Hahaha.

Notebook scrawls, I have plenty of those, quick notes written to remind myself of bits in shows, written with only the briefest glances down into the gloom. Often ineligible in the light and occasionally written over other notes that I didn’t notice were already on the page. Sometimes I’ll write a line thinking it will good a starting place, yeah, umm, what was that about? Those scrawls can be sitting there a long time, but recently I got tough and ripped plenty out. One still in there – do you enjoy laughing?

That line, do you enjoy laughing, was asked me by a flyerer. She was so lucky I didn’t pause to give a reply, I think I was on my way somewhere so dismissed the temptation as I didn’t have any time to spare. See, it immediately took me back years ago to when a friend of a friend told me I would like some band or other because – well, I like music, ergo, I’d like that music. What!?!? Huh? Our mutual friend managed to keep a straight face, inwardly howling with laughter as he knew I would hate them (I could see it in his eyes as he held back the tears). Back to the flyerer, I remember thinking as I strode away that I could have replied, “What makes you think your show’s funny enough to make anyone laugh?” Ouch, mean that, I kinda surprised myself, on the other hand, had I had the time to chat, a valid question.

Yes, I’ve seen the bloody rain – probably written one night in Whistlebinkies. This is about the old Creedence Clearwater Revival song, up there with I’m A Believer as songs I wouldn’t miss if I never heard them again, on the other hand, within a set of music that I do want to hear, it provides time for a loo break. See, I do look for the positives! Oh, and I don’t dislike either song, just, nah.

Did you know that in Holyrood Park there’s a patch of raspberry canes? Not a big patch, but not tiny either, reckon if I go at just the right time of year I could pick enough for a few jars of jam and the odd pie. Yes, I’ve made a note on my calendar to go check it out next summer; and no, I’m not going to divulge it’s exact location (they’re mines!!) And on the Park, I just noticed the other day that the fences were away from the start of the Radical Road at the Powderhouse Corner end, yay (quite how long I’ve been walking past without noticing, well!) It’s just reopened as far as the old quarry, with plenty of warning signs everywhere. I’ve been wandering up to the top of Salisbury Crags for the beautiful skies at dusk, a tad scary once it gets darker (it would have been for the no-doubt magnificent sunsets, if I could just get the timing right).

Oo, must mention how brave I was at Cineworld a couple of weeks ago. I was there to see Hope, a Korean monster sci-fi movie. It was midafternoon, only a few in, two of those few kept bloody talking to each other, just loud and often enough to put a dent on my enjoyment. One chap a few rows in front of them did move across the room, I vaguely considered it but I was in a great spot so felt disinclined to give up such a prime location. Another guy got up and went over to tell them to shut up, they did, for about five minutes. Emboldened by his action, I decided it was time to make a stand myself (here I should mention I was in the row behind them about eight or nine seats along), so I snuck along to right behind them … “Will you two either shut the fuck up or fuck off!” Oh, how they jumped, I gave them the meanest glare I could muster and went back to my seat. Reader, not another peep was heard!

Nearly time to sleep, hopefully I’ll keep the momentum going and write again tomorrow. Maybe I can build up to announcing the winners of this year’s Brucies at the weekend, hmmm, as the clocks go back, Bruce takes a look back at this year’s Fringe, oh yes, that sounds good. But like I said before, I haven’t even decided on categories yet; see back in 2022 I was inspired by the wonderfully bonkers ACMS Awards, it was like the culmination of a month of absurdities, my spark was crackling, fizzing with all kinds of silly. Ho hum. Goodnight!

View over to the southside of town from St Leonards Crag
The view at dusk from Salisbury Crags

The Fringe of ’22 is over

Its all done for another year, everyone’s left town, so many venues already look like there’s not been anything happening at all, even the streets are looking cleaner (yes, the binmen went back to work yesterday – was it really a strike or a dirty protest against the Fringe?!). At least I was able to console myself watching the Scat Rats yesterday evening in Whistlebinkies, and at the reasonable time of half nine! It’s Scotty boy’s birthday today, I’m sure there’ll be shenanigans afoot; just as long as he’s recovered by Friday when there’s a double dose of Marah and Rough – at five in Binkies, then down in Stramash at seven, sweet!

Anyways, you probably popped in for some end of Fringe waffle, like, did Accordion Ryan do a new song? Yes, he did and very good it was too, all about him seemingly giving off long term relationship vibes when, well, sometimes it’s nice just to have a bit of fun! Another clever, funny, slightly bittersweet song. It was a brilliant last show, a total blast, it’s gotta be ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐. As is the usual with these things venue staff came along for a final send-off, I’m sure Ryan brought plenty of sunshine into their lives this last month (mine too!)

Earlier that evening walking up Blair Street I noticed that the Alternative Comedy Memorial Society Awards 2022 were taking place that night, obviously I had to get a ticket, what better way to round off the Fringe (especially in case nothing turned up on Monday)? Needless to say it was very silly, rather anarchic and quite random, like any evening at the ACMS. Thom Tuck managed to keep some semblance of order (Professional), or did a good impression of doing so. Throughout the show various nominees for Best Song went up and performed, my favourite was definitely John Robertson’s, short and very much to the point BINS!! As this was ACMS Awards there wasn’t actually an award for Best Song, of course not. The whole thing was done and dusted by around two thirty, a very reasonable time, considering.

announcing the winner of the Least Likely award

Monday? The few flyerers left descended on the remaining Fringers, by god, they had one last show to flyer and they were determined to got some bums on those seats! They circled around us like seagulls going for discarded chips, saying you already had a show to go to almost felt mean. Oh, I wasn’t just saying it, I did, the chaps from Out To Lunch were quite engaging so I bought a ticket, and that was my final Fringe show, in the afternoon! No final night, didn’t even bother with Binkies Open Mic Night, this slow, wheezing demise of the Fringe is no fun. Just end everything on the Sunday night!!! The last Monday gets more tragic each year.

Out To Lunch was rather good, by the way. It’s a comedy-musical but there’s not too much singing in it. Indeed, when the first song started I’d forgotten that it was a musical it was a fair way into the play, oh and the two male actors weren’t particularly musical when they tried to sing but that just made it funnier. Emily Cairns playing Angie made up for them, she has an awesome voice. I was amused by the main protagonist Marcus Tuckwell, a failing food critic, when I realised he was coming across like the bastard love child of Bernard Black (Black Books) and Jack Whitehall! Yes, I had that going on in my head.

Must finish, I’m hungry. There may be a ranty post later, possibly; well, a Fringe round-up that may become ranty. I may even get round to some Bruce T Moose awards this year, I’m feeling a tad inspired by the ACMS, Best Song nominees welcome!

Thom took his MC duties very seriously