Twas the Friday before Christmas….

bruceonthefringe 2020, Christmas, Christmas cake, Pubs Tags: , , Leave a comment

It’s very late on, it’s quiet outside except for the occasional car sploshing past in the rain. Usually on this particular Friday night it would still be noisy and boisterous out in the streets. Ah yes, Mad Friday, the final Friday night before Christmas, many will be out straight after the working day ends, every pub is packed out. People are partying like it’s 1999, again! The streets are busy with roving pub crawlers heading to their next drink – Mad Friday is not an evening for moderation (the amount of alcohol consumed on this one day in the UK must be quite staggering!) But this is 2020, Mad Friday has been lobotomised, not even the junkies are out yelling at each other tonight.

Departure Day for Christmas is getting closer and blurier. Oh, we’re still being told that we can have the five days grace to see family for Christmas, but, make that BUT, they don’t think we should be making use of this liberty. One problem, trying to guilt-trip never works on the people it’s intended for, people who don’t give two hoots won’t give two hoots! Instead, the law-abiding worriers will worry more, case in point, my dear old Ma.

Will I get down to deepest Yorkshire? I hope so, I do intend to go still – ask me again on Monday and I may answer differently. With all this uncertainty around I decided I should make me a Christmas cake! Cake baked Thursday, almond paste (probably marzipan to you) made this evening. No, I would never consider shop-bought marzipan, homemade almond paste is way way better!

My efforts so far ………

2020 still has a few surprises…….

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Fourteen days into December and we’re still allowed the five days around Christmas to see family. In just over a weeks time I’ll be heading to deepest, darkest Yorkshire with presents and Christmas cheer (and maybe some cider from the Jolly Judge!). Sorry, but I’m still can’t shake the feeling that the Sturgeon will do something stupid. Of course she won’t at this late stage …… or would she?!

Hands up if you’ve heard of thundersnow, I hadn’t at the start of this month but in the early hours of the 4th it got up close and personal with the residents of Edinburgh. Some folk phoned the police thinking they’d heard explosions, it even managed to set off some car alarms! Roused from my slumber, I couldn’t figure out if it was extremely long thunder or a very heavy truck crawling slowly up the road – Facebook provided the answer in the morning. Apparently it’s a phenomenon that happens when thunder and lightning mix with a heavy snowstorm, pretty rare in the UK but hey, it’s 2020, this would be the year for thundersnow to put in an appearance!

The following night was rather mental too, no thundersnow but hailstones like I’ve never heard before. You know the sound of heavy rain on outside of a little tent that you’re lying in, praying you’ll make it til morning? That’s how bad the weather sounded inside my little tenement flat. It started around 1am, I wasn’t long tucked up after more episodes than I’d intended of Lucifer series 3 (well, he is very more-ish); I ended up getting back up to watch it awhile from my lounge window. It can be quite mesmerising watching a hailstorm.

On the Sunday at dusk I tottled off to Portobello beach again, Now I don’t know if there was a connection with the previous recent weather but there’d been a tremendous amount of debris and driftwood brought up onto the beach (including an odd tree stump lying here and there). The locals had been busy and right along the length of the beach were various forms created from the driftwood, and, of course, a number of small fires surrounded by friends chatting away into the darkening night.

this structure was much closer to the shoreline than most so I couldn’t resist taking a pic in the gathering gloom

Strictly Come Dancing is nearing it’s end now and I’m pleased to say Bill Bailey is still in as a contender in the Final this weekend! He won’t win, that should be Hrvy or Maisie (should, they are the best dancers but as the Final is purely on the public vote it comes down to popularity rather than a flawless performance) but it’s great that he’s made it this far. He deserves it after bringing metal to Strictly! Oh yes, on Saturday night his second dance was a tango to Enter Sandman by Metallica!! (It was a pretty good rendition by the house band) And a nice bit of trivia, the song (Won’t You Come Home) Bill Bailey that Bill and Oti did a Charleston to was where Bill took his name from after a teacher kept singing it at school – his real name is Mark.

I really must mention our very own furry Esther Williams, she’s really wow-ing the fans now. Our neighbourhood otter was taking a breather on the rocks at the edge of Dunsapie Loch just feet away from folk all stunned to see her so close (ok, yes, I was fairly amazed myself when I saw how chilled she was at the close proximity to people). Even when she went back in, she swam along the bank, diving down every couple of minutes, stunning! I must admit I thought otters had little stubby noses but this pic shows otherwise. Honestly, it is the otter and not a strange looking dog!

Just a smattering….

bruceonthefringe 2020, Badges, Holyrood Park, Logan's Close, Uncategorized, Walking around Edinburgh Tags: , , Leave a comment

Wow! This morning Edinburgh awoke to a smattering of snow! Most of it was gone by midday (as is usual here) but it was still about on the hillsides and well-insulated rooftops. The paths around Holyrood Park were a tad on the slippy side, so folk were having to choose between sliding on the path or in the surrounding mud. It all made for some rather cautious walking!

Mind, the longer effort was worth it for the view of Dunsapie Loch, still as a millpond, with a perfect reflection of Crow Hill and Arthur’s Seat in it…….

I was a bit disappointed the otter wasn’t around but just when I’d reached the other end of the Loch, I looked and saw that she had appeared. Yes, I trooped back round to see her! I couldn’t help myself, it’s a wonderful thing to be able to watch an otter blithely swimming and diving about in the wild. She’s gorgeous and she knows it.

Speaking of gorgeous, Logan’s Close have announced on Facebook that they’re intending to record their debut album next year. Oh yay! A whole album of rich musical gorgeousness, can’t wait!! In the meantime, they’ve come up with a line of sexy, stylish T-shirts and bags for the fans (about time!); personally, I think they should do badges too – yes, I do need badges, preferably not stinking, mind 😊

Toodle pip!

December in the Time of Covid

bruceonthefringe 2020, Charity Christmas cards, Christmas, Covid restrictions, Edinburgh traditions, Uncategorized Tags: , , Leave a comment

Ah, the first of December, the day it’s acceptable to put up something Christmassy and not before!! The fireplace, hearth and mantel, has been cleared and cleaned, my peace lily is holidaying in the kitchen and this year’s advent calendar now has pride of place. This afternoon I trotted along to St John’s Church at the corner of Princes Street and Lothian Road to check out this year’s Cards For Good Causes.

It’s a marvellous institution, been going for years, from October to December pop-up shops pop up all over the UK in places like churches, libraries, community centres, town halls and the like, mainly run by volunteers, selling Christmas cards for over twenty five charities. That is, twenty five national charities and then any local charities, like hospices. Cards For Good Causes is a not-for-profit organisation so all the proceeds after the overheads goes to the charities (and yes, the money goes to the specific charity for each pack of cards), last year it was 70p in every Β£1, which is way better than the charity cut from the so-called charity cards from some high street retailers!

St John’s Church

Of course, you can buy the cards at the charity shops themselves but I enjoy perusing all that’s on offer from the various charities then I make my choices – something sweet and cute, something more sombre. At the end next to the till they have Chrustmas paraphernalia, wrapping paper, tags, decorations, gifts for sale (the profits from these help to meet some of the running costs of the pop-up shops). Okay, so I would usually have already been along before now to have a peek at what was on offer, but, well, with all the social distancing measures I feel disinclined to go earlier, I wondered what changes they would have had to make, actually not a lot (besides the obvious hand sanitiser and screen at the till). There’s been a doorbell installed to buzz for entry, then one heads down the centre aisle to go one way up the side aisle where the cards are displayed back up to the till and exit side door. One obvious problem with this is some folk (erm, like me) would usually wander down the row seeing what there was before walking back up and picking out their choices; luckily for me, there was no one else there for a wee while so I was able to go back and forth a bit.

Of course, this being 2020, I’m still not definite where I’ll actually be for Christmas. The Powers That Be are currently saying the nation will have a five day window for family Christmases, but this is only the first of the month, with all their constant rule-changing I’m not convinced they’ll still be saying the same thing in twenty days time!!

I shall leave you with a lovely picture from a late afternoon stroll along Portobello Prom just last week. I say late afternoon, it was round about half past five and the moon was well up, I was quite surprised how many people were about on the beach and the Prom, but then, we’re not to meet indoors, so…..

Strictly 2020 for the fans

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Yay, even in this Covid-ridden year Strictly Come Dancing is back on our telly screens, albeit with fewer contestants and all very distanced. I’m certainly not missing the audience whooping and clapping at every little thing, maybe if something is extraordinarily amazing that’s fine, but otherwise I wish they’d just contain themselves until the end of each dance. There’s been a very limited audience in the studio but with the second lockdown even that was prohibited. The last few shows have had the competing couples sat at the little cabaret-style tables to replace the missing audience, I like it.

This year Strictly started with twelve couples rather than fifteen, sadly one couple has had to drop out as one of the pair had a positive corona virus test (there’s lots of careful bubbling and testing going on). There’s only three judges instead of four because Bruno is staying in America to do Dancing With The Stars again (previous years he was flying back and forth every week!) Last weekend another judge, Motsi, was away as she is currently self-isolating after a necessary visit to Germany; on the bright side of that, Anton Du Beke has been a marvellous stand-in for her. In fact I reckon he should stay on after Motsi’s return, so getting back to a full quota of judges. To be honest, I’ve never cared for him much but as a judge he’s really shone; being knocked out in the very first dance-off (I knew he’d be first out, that Jacqui Smith was just bad) turned out just fine!

Every year I seem to know fewer of the contestants, many moan on social media about “z listers” on the show, meaning they haven’t heard of them, but in actual fact I would say that’s a good thing as it indicates how diverse the celebrities are and there’s someone for everyone. I don’t watch morning tv, chat shows (Graham Norton is my one exception), the news or any of the soaps and I have little interest in sports; that right there precludes me from recognising over half the contestants. You-tubers, vloggers, Radio 1 dj’s, they just aren’t on my radar – damn it, yes, that’s a younger generation’s game (I’m not old, really, I’m not). This year I only know two contestants well – Bill Bailey (as previously mentioned) and Caroline Quentin, both of whom I’ve loved for years; I did recognise Clara Amfo (Radio 1) but couldn’t place her, until a repeat of Richard Osman’s House of Games on Dave, ahha, yeah, she’s fun, I like her.

So, Bill Bailey, that’s the Older Gent and Comic categories both ticked off; both in one package together and the masses just think “oh, the funny turn, he’ll be hamming it up to get laughs and hopefully votes, ’cause God knows, he’ll be rubbish!” Fair enough, that has happened in previous years, but this is Bill Bailey we’re talking about. Oo, my ears pricked up on hearing he was taking part, his benign, bewildered smile and laidback manner would belie the fact that he is intelligent, meticulous and competitive. Of course, his musical skills would not necessarily translate into dancing ability, as Strictly fans will be aware from previous series. Fear not, his learning skills are as quick as his wits; his inquisitive nature has seen him research each dance style to gain a better understanding of it, he’s nothing if not thorough!

Okay, so I wrote the above four days, it was very late so I took a break. Honestly, I did mean to finish it the next morning, best laid plans. Yay, Bill is still in but Caroline left this evening, it was the dreaded cha cha cha that did for her. Most celebrities find it difficult and it’s almost like a death knell for anyone over forty. Luckily Bill got it out of the way in the very first week when no one goes out, mind, he’s got the jive this week, it’ll need every bit of stamina he’s got! But Bill has something besides his musicality that will have been a great asset – a strong core. Bill loves paddleboarding, does it whenever wherever he can, and while it’s low impact it is a good workout for a body, upper, core and legs. Strong leg muscles will have made his dance training much less of a shock to his system than it usually is to middle-aged celebrities.

His posture even in week two for the quickstep was really good, he was so light on his feet and precise too! Week three, movie week, saw Bill and Oti coming second on the leader board with their paso doble to the theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It was a tad magnificent. A good tune can really help win the public vote too, and Bill and Oti had another doozy up their sleeves for week four – only Rapper’s Delight by The Sugarhill Gang! This was for their Couple’s Choice Street Dance, another second place. Gotta mention the seriously dapper pinstriped suits too, they looked as sharp as they danced!

This weekend Strictly would normally have been in the Blackpool Tower Ballroom, a weekend every couple wants to reach and the ante is ratcheted up a notch. Of course, this being 2020, the Blackpool feeling was woven in Elstree and everyone was feeling it! So at least Caroline and Johannes made it to Blackpool Weekend, yay, for them. Bill and Oti wowed again with an American Smooth to I’ve Got You Under My Skin, but with the competition hotting up they came fifth equal on the leader board.

It’s a tough year to call the finalists, but, ah, no, it would the kiss of death, wouldn’t it? As long as it’s great dancing and stunning outfits I’m one happy moose.

Night all πŸ’›

Let’s talk about Bill

bruceonthefringe Bill Bailey, Comedy, Comic theatre, Dr Who, Edinburgh Fringe, Fringe history, Theatre, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , , , , , Leave a comment

Last post I mentioned Bill Bailey and the place he holds in my Happy box, which got me remembering all the other great stuff I’ve seen him do. Really, he’s popped up more times than I would have guessed off the cuff. So here’s a potted history of me and Mr Bailey……..

Apparently he first came up to the Fringe in 1994 as part of a two man show, going solo the following year, then, third time lucky he was nominated for a Perrier 1996 (not so lucky that he won but hey). This was around the time I began to really embrace the Fringe, I didn’t see him perform but I was aware of him. Oh yeah, by 1999 Bud and I were fans, we were yelping with delight when he turned up in the tv comedy sitcom Spaced as the owner of a comic book store!

2000 saw Bill on the telly again as Manny Bianco in the totally and utterly brilliant Black Books. Not for everyone, mind, but my fancy was well tickled by it. Bill, Tamsin Greig and Dylan Moran were great together, usually stuck bickering in Bernard Black’s (Moran) bookshop (in three series very little took place outside of the shop and it’s living space behind). Mind you, I don’t think Dylan Moran was stretching himself much – from what I’ve heard from friends (have I ever mentioned our Fringe game, Meringue, and its origin?).

In 2002 Bill became one of the team captains of my favourite tv panel show at the time Never Mind the Buzzcocks battling against Phil Jupitus’ team, presided over by quiz master Mark Lamarr. Oh, that was great entertainment, if at times a tad cruel to some of the guest panellists. Lamarr actually became less caustic with his humour as time went on, his teddy boy solid as a board quiff soften too. Then Lamarr left and after a series with guest presenters youngster Simon Amstell took over the chair; it was like the humour of early NMTB again but meaner, Amstell obviously wanted to make his mark but his needling and determination to get a rise out of his victims just got annoying at times. In 2008 after a second series with the new chair and with eleven series under his belt, Bill took his leave of the show; I’ve read that Bill revised his attitudes to comedy around this time, “cruel” comedy was shown the door.

Meanwhile, when not filming series of NMTB, Bill was back at the Fringe. In 2003 he brought us not only his new show Part Troll but he also acted in Guy Masterson’s all-star cast production of 12 Angry Men. Bud and I saw and thoroughly enjoyed both (mind, that “all-star” thing seemed to mean stand-up comedians). To our delight two years later he trod the boards again in The Odd Couple with Alan Davies as the other half (another Guy Masterson production). That was, of course, the first time we saw Bill’s band, not listed in the Fringe programme just on the Gilded Balloon’s own.

Those are my stand out BB moments, since then he’s acted on the big and small screen (oo yeah, the Dr Who Christmas Special in 2011); there’s the guesting on panel shows and he’s presented various programmes on topics from baboons to orchestras; tours around the world, books, radio shows, and a load other stuff!! A man of many talents, indeed. Just last month he published a new book Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide to Happiness, that’s so on my Christmas list! Oh, and last month he also joined this year’s Strictly Come Dancing!! Oh yay, another excuse to talk about Strictly. I suspect my UK readers knew that was coming 😊.

Toodle oo, chaps.

Happy?!

bruceonthefringe 2020, A good audience, Fringe history, Uncategorized Tags: , , , , , , Leave a comment

In 2019 the loveliest man to grace a Fringe stage was back again with his new show Aidan Goatley: Happy Britain Part I, naturally I went along. Happy Britain? He told how he came up with an idea of going to the centre of every county in the UK and asking the first person he met, “What makes you happy?” Part I? Well, you know, life, best laid plans, et al, there was to be a Part II this year, and a book too! God only knows when that’s gonna happen now!! Mind you, his wife is a vicar so she could make enquiries!

The show was as good as expected – that being an engaging, charming, thoroughly entertaining hour that went by way too quickly for my liking. I could have happily sat another hour in that state of warm, fuzzy cheeriness (oh and the room did have good air conditioning – a bonus). The pic is from Mr Goatley’s bit in the Fringe programme. I think his attire may be a reference to Arthur Dent in HHGTTG, I seem to vaguely remember something, but I could have dreamt it.

Some time later I found myself musing on Aidan’s question, indeed, what made me happy, really happy? Where was my happy place? Could I answer that without resorting to flippancy? You see, though I always do my best to present myself as a jovial and happy-go-lucky chap, I am no stranger to melancholy; I knew I’d been slowly sinking into the doldrums for some time, my spark wasn’t very sparky anymore, more like an ember. Oh sure, Edinburgh in August (when there’s a Fringe on!) but what about the rest of it? I mulled over it for some time, if I could figure out the true honest answer could I use it as a compass to lead myself out of the doldrums on to firmer ground?

Actually, it’s the reason why I like the Fringe so much, it’s that blissed out fuzziness of witnessing a great feelgood show (usually accompanied by a goofy smile). It’s sitting listening to Aidan’s stories, it’s watching an hour of surreal sketches about three sperm, it’s the fun of watching a troup of actors allowing themselves to be dictated to by a roulette wheel of absurd scenarios.

And it’s being at a Logan’s Close gig, any time of the year. Oh yeah, there’s my Happy. No wonder this year’s been hard – I haven’t seen them since January! And on bands, one of my most memorable happy times was at the Fringe in 2005, late night in the Debating Hall at Teviot watching Bill Bailey’s band Beergut 100. The sheer exuberance of the band and the crowd was intoxicating, and when Kevin Eldon sang a seriously punked up The sun’ll come out tomorrow oh my heartses! The room was a big sweaty blob of happy!

As a young moose I used to daydream, as so many do, about being a great performer, acting or singing, both, I’d be amazing!! Once we get past the time of when our dreams were meant to somehow be happening (with no effort from ourselves), it’s woulda, coulda, shoulda. Then, one night, I don’t remember when, who or where, but I do remember having an epiphany, I was Audience – being a great audience is important, without an audience what is a show? I shouldn’t be looking up wishing I was the one on the stage, that’s not me; I’m the one giving my undivided attention, watching, listening, absorbing the atmosphere; I’m the one whooping and cheering and clapping, showing my appreciation to the performers.

Oo, that got a bit profound there! Thinking on it, I know it changed my perspective and my being. Would recognising my Happy bring on another change? Then 2020 came along and the whole world has been spun off kilter. Will Aidan ever get to do his Part Deux? Will hugging ever come back? There’s a great deal of Happy in hugging.

Bonne nuit, mes amis πŸ’›

See, apples green, oranges orange, got that?

bruceonthefringe 2020, a rant, Music, Old Town living, Pubs Tags: , , , , , Leave a comment

I’m in the wrong place, Gromit. No wonder l feel out of sorts, bloody Covid, I should be a couple of hundred miles south in darkest Yorkshire. I haven’t spent the second weekend of October in Edinburgh for eons! It’s one of my annual pilgrimages back to the old country. Some would say I should have just gone down but, having left the decision right up the night before I would have gone, the family all agreed best to leave it. The law may be an ass, but annoyingly my tribe are way too law-abiding for our own good at times!

My disgruntledness hasn’t been helped by an article I saw this week on Facebook from the local paper; the headline read “Curbs on amplified music, concerts and fireworks proposed for Edinburgh’s Old Town”. What! Are they having a laugh? Mind you, reading stuff in the local paper is like hearing about stuff from my mother – not necessarily the actual facts, just something with a resemblance of them. It’s written to read like everyone in the Old Town area came together and all agreed, no more fireworks, castle concerts, and we don’t care for the Tattoo either, really? A number of people compiled this ducument, by no means should it be taken as the views of all Old Town residents. See, that irked me but what really got my goat was when the article went on to say that this group also have “a radical solution …. to ban all amplified music in the Old Town, from …. individual pubs”.

I was annoyed with the way local pubs in the local music scene were being linked to the council’s greed for the tourist buck and everything else that’s bad about inner city living; the night-time noise in the Grassmarket area is from drunks spilling from the other pubs, the live music venues really don’t add anything much to that hullabaloo. I was so incensed I almost wrote a comment (having read the Comments section of the local rag posts, I know the savagery of the regulars and how adept they are at missing others’ points). Almost, then I noticed a Facebook friend had already pretty much made my comment for me, oo, and indeed there were already two replies that would exasperate anyone level-headed.

Would my friend reply back? From reading through all the comments I discovered the first reply was from a serial ranter with a rather smug, patronising attitude towards any dissenting views; please, don’t rise to it, I prayed, he’s so not worth it. Ha, no reaction back (I bet that irked him), but a good handful of likes in support of our local music scene. Crickey, if these recommendations were implemented it would be a serious blow to Sneaky Pete’s, Stramash, Bannermans, just to name a few. And if that happened where might the new puritans strike next?! Oh, I do get the need for some restrictions and noise controls, absolutely, but not by people who don’t know apples from oranges!

A tinge of blue

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Today would have been the 97th birthday of the wonderful Nicholas Parsons; this evening Radio 4 paid tribute to him with a look back at his life and career along with an edition of Just a Minute (how could they not!), his Desert Island Discs and two one-offs he made for Radio Four. The Straight Man in particular was very interesting listen, part biography, part lesson in comedy duo dynamics. Fascinating stuff! Ah, Nicholas, the world has been very blue since you departed at the beginning of the year.

Edinburgh anď many parts of Scotland have just had all pubs and restaurants close down for at least two weeks. As a protest bar workers in Edinburgh dumped the remaining contents of their ice machines outside the Scottish Parliament, over in Glasgow the ice was dumped outside the City Chambers. Can’t say I blame them! They’ve jumped through hoops forwards, backwards and sideways to comply with the new regulations, disheartened is probably way too light a word to describe how they must be feeling. In the rest of Scotland licensed premises can serve alcohol in outdoor areas up to 22:00, but only non-alcoholic drinks and food indoors until 18:00.

You may already be pondering whether restaurants can still open if they promise not to sell alcohol, alas, the Sturgeon says no. But, some cafes have alcohol licences – apparently they will be allowed to open but not sell alcohol! You can imagine many in the industry are confused and angry by this contrariness. Indeed, I’ve wondered about the position of restaurants that are purely BYO, the Sturgeon doesn’t want restaurants trying to classify themselves as cafes, but without an alcohol licence what defines a restaurant as different to a cafe?

Even in the areas where pubs and restaurants can open, many are closing their doors because, even if they were as full as now allowed, the latest restrictions will make the businesses unviable. Sad times.

Dear readers, wherever you may be, I wish you all the best in getting through this in one piece. I hope your leaders use some commonsense and care about your well-being. I have to believe there’s intelligent life somewhere out there!

Esther? Is that you?

bruceonthefringe 2020, Flora and fauna, Holyrood Park, Walking around Edinburgh Tags: , , , 1 Comment

Today’s constitutional was a once round Holyrood Park, just on the road, nothing off piste today. I just needed a good long walk, and to get milk too. The park can be quite busy on a Sunday but I wasn’t expecting to see so many folk up by Dunsapie Loch…..

I thought, wow, I know people like to take photos of the swans but this many? Is it a photography club outing?! The chap hunched down at the water’s edge had the longest lens I’ve ever seen! Just one swan swam majestically in the middle of the Loch, loving the attention.

Ah, hang on, no, everyone’s attention was on something else, something to the left of the swan. A ripple, did a fish just jump? And another one. And I saw it – an otter! Holy mackerel, Batman! That’s a first, an otter in the top pond, and it was having a fine time frolicking! Oh, she knew how to work the crowd, a little peekaboo here, a frisky leap there, disappear a while to keep us in suspense, only to reappear a short distance away for a brief flirtation before diving down again with a flick of her tail.

Honestly, that is an otter, I promise you.

Toodle pip!