Bill Bailey

Y’know, 2020 wasn’t all bad….

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Saw yet another strand of tinsel as I downward dogged this morning, that’ll be the twelfth since my last blog post! It lay there glinting mockingly at me, bold as brass it was, well not any more. Oh, and we didn’t get the promised snow, so I closed the curtain again and went back to bed. There has been more snow outside of Edinburgh but nothing in the city, just freezing temperatures.

Listening to the news, it’s sounding like we’ll be lucky if we can do anything at Easter nevermind Mothering Sunday here in the UK. That’ll be another of my annual trips to the old country cancelled, I’ll have forgotten the way down soon! Yeah, 2021 isn’t looking that much better than 2020 so far. How depressing! So, to brighten the mood I decided to look back through 2020 and find my highlights, surely there were some?!

First off, Esther – our wee beastie o’the loch. I reckon she’ll be a highlight for a few Edinburgh folks grateful for the distraction. It’s been so good to watch this beautiful wild creature so close by. Hopefully she’ll be okay after all the recent weather, Dunsapie Loch has been frozen over a fair bit this last month. From otters to rabbits….

Way back last January I went to Jojo Rabbit three times at the cinema. Those were days, open cinemas, me with my unlimited card going to see two films in one evening, Nando’s chicken wings in between (will Cineworld reopen at all now?). Jojo Rabbit is such an outstanding film and a proper cinema film too. God, I miss going to the cinema, that sense of occasion (as a young moose a trip to the cinema was an event, that feeling has never quite left). The whole cast of Jojo were brilliant and Taika Waititi cemented his place as my favourite director and all-round amazing film person.

Thinking about it, I guess all that time spent in Holyrood Park, walking around, lying in sunny nooks reading, that was pretty special. We did have long spells of great weather in 2020, I did most of my reading outdoors. Highlights bookwise, finally reading Errol Flynn’s autobiography (an amazing glimpse at another time and place) and John Robertson’s The Little Town of Marrowville, I expected it to be good and darkly humorous but wow, it exceeded all my expectations! Yes it’s a kid’s book, but it’s a damn fine one.

Not Eurovision 2020 was a day of Eurovision treats for the fans on radio and tv. In the evening Graham Norton guided us through the main Not Eurovision Show, which just felt like one big love-in around the world (as Australia is now in it, yes I make that around the world). I thoroughly enjoyed a day of reminiscing, music, dancing, oh, and prosecco with pear juice.

2020, a shorter but sweetest year yet for Strictly Come Dancing. Bill Bailey with Oti was a worthy winner, confounding the initial assumptions of so many viewers with his capacity to learn and ability to dance. Their routine to Rapper’s Delight will go down in Strictly history. I learnt you could video chat on WhatsApp in November – yeah, Strictly brings out that need to share!

Fringey goodness was found online. April and May saw the magnificent Will Seaward online re-telling his Spooky Ghost Stories sometimes with live accompaniment courtesy of Jam With Humans. Yes, it was back in the early lockdown days, things went a bit wonky, not always online just somewhere in the vicinity, but no matter, it was great to see the maestro weaving his wondrous tales again.

The nearing of the NonFringe saw me checking to see what the Sleeping Trees were up to, if anything. Oh bugger! I’d missed getting to see MAFIA? by about ten days! Joys, I did get see SCI-FI? again. So is there a recording of WESTERN? somewhere? I’d love to see that again. Pretty please?! I could read MAFIA? by purchasing a copy the recently published Sleeping Trees at The Movies – Blueprints for Devised Comedy, but it just wouldn’t be the same as seeing it. But the best was yet to come – a Christmas Living Room Adventure! Oh yay, The Legend of Moby Dick Whittington was the highlight of my Christmas, yes, even above my Christmas Lunch Roll! That first sighting of the great white whale will stay with me forever.

Anything else, Brucie? Well, there was the small matter of Logan’s Close at the Caves for the release of their latest opus Lost In You at the end of February, like, a truly epic night! Best I’ve seen them yet; there was a gig planned for the end of this month but it has, of course, been cancelled. Lead guitarist and singer Carl Marah took to singing Bob Dylan to his washing machine in April, strange behaviour but captivatingly beautiful.

My top highlight of 2020? The Close’s Lockdown Cover of Fantastic Man by William Onyeabor. Having since put the original on one of my Spotify playlists, I love what the lads did with it even more; they’ve taken the best parts, condensed and Closified it into a summer classic of their own. Their video is rather fine too, and usually if I leave YouTube running afterwards it goes to a film of roller dancers skating to the original with some seriously cool moves (yes, I’ve watched both plenty of times after I’ve done online exercises – hey, its good cool down music).

So, wow, 2020 wasn’t all bad, and I did two seasons of Preacher and three of Lucifer, plus my uke playing is slowly coming on. Dear reader, I hope you too can look back and recognise your own highlights of 2020, to paraphrase Aidan Goatley, What made you happy in 2020?

Toodle pip!

24 hours later………

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See! My misgivings were right – the Christmas grace has been rescinded! I got a phone call from a sibling, rudely interrupted the start of Strictly it did, I got the gist and promised to call back later, like after Strictly. So, the new Scottish restrictions say there’ll only be a relaxation of the rules on Christmas Day, which means there isn’t time enough to see any family if they’re not close by, nevermind in other parts of the UK, and travel to those parts is now banned over Christmas anyway. Boxing Day will see all mainland Scotland on the highest level restrictions for at least three weeks. Happy New Year!

Can’t say I’m surprised, the rhetoric was all heading this way. That’s me off veg peeling duties then! Luckily this morning I bought a Christmas lunch sausage roll at the Farmers Market. I say sausage roll, this is a gourmet, ridiculously large, sausage roll containing the various constituents of a Christmas lunch; a friend on Facebook had tried one and liked it so I thought I would get one too – must pop it in the freezer til Friday morning.

Anyhoo, Strictly the Final was rather bloody good. Three of my Week Two finals predictions were there, oh yay, I’m good! Okay, HRVY and Maisie were gonna be there, but who else seriously predicted Bill for the Final? I don’t care for Jamie Laing, neither do a lot of other folk on the basis he made the Dance-off four times, a definite lack of Fan Base there, no way was he lifting the glitterball tonight.

To be honest I think Maisie should have won, her dancing was stunningly good, she completely embraced the performances – her show dance and her favourite dance with Gorka were so sublime, like watching an old Hollywood musical, astounding!! HRVY, whilst he is amazing too and sooo watchable, his show dance didn’t do it for me somehow. That apart, his Jive was great again and that American Smooth to One Singular Sensation, wow!!!

But the night belonged to Bill and Oti. Their first dance, the Judges’ Choice was their Quickstep to If I Could Talk To The Animals from Week Two, so light and precise, hmmm, definitely a contender. Next their show dance to Queen’s The Show Must Go On, like OMG, jaw-droppingly brilliant, Oti is an amazing choreographer, she created so much drama and intensity, oofph. Watching it again online, many comments say that this is when Bill won Strictly, maybe, but repeating their interpretation of Rapper’s Delight by the Sugarhill Gang was what drove their win home. Oh yes, Bill Bailey and Oti Mabuse won the Glitterball tonight! He may not have been the most technically perfect dancer, but, by Harry, his passion, commitment and amazing stamina (he is the oldest contestant to have won, the previous oldest was a mere 42 year old, Bill is 55) along with that light, fleetness of foot – a worthy winner. Huzzah!

On that note I shall bid you goodnight and leave you with a pic of my cake now covered with the almond paste. The darker blob is where I spilt some apricot jam – it’s what I use to stick the paste to the cake. I’lll leave it a day for the almond paste to dry before putting the icing on. Just as well I made it, huh?!

2020 still has a few surprises…….

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Fourteen days into December and we’re still allowed the five days around Christmas to see family. In just over a weeks time I’ll be heading to deepest, darkest Yorkshire with presents and Christmas cheer (and maybe some cider from the Jolly Judge!). Sorry, but I’m still can’t shake the feeling that the Sturgeon will do something stupid. Of course she won’t at this late stage …… or would she?!

Hands up if you’ve heard of thundersnow, I hadn’t at the start of this month but in the early hours of the 4th it got up close and personal with the residents of Edinburgh. Some folk phoned the police thinking they’d heard explosions, it even managed to set off some car alarms! Roused from my slumber, I couldn’t figure out if it was extremely long thunder or a very heavy truck crawling slowly up the road – Facebook provided the answer in the morning. Apparently it’s a phenomenon that happens when thunder and lightning mix with a heavy snowstorm, pretty rare in the UK but hey, it’s 2020, this would be the year for thundersnow to put in an appearance!

The following night was rather mental too, no thundersnow but hailstones like I’ve never heard before. You know the sound of heavy rain on outside of a little tent that you’re lying in, praying you’ll make it til morning? That’s how bad the weather sounded inside my little tenement flat. It started around 1am, I wasn’t long tucked up after more episodes than I’d intended of Lucifer series 3 (well, he is very more-ish); I ended up getting back up to watch it awhile from my lounge window. It can be quite mesmerising watching a hailstorm.

On the Sunday at dusk I tottled off to Portobello beach again, Now I don’t know if there was a connection with the previous recent weather but there’d been a tremendous amount of debris and driftwood brought up onto the beach (including an odd tree stump lying here and there). The locals had been busy and right along the length of the beach were various forms created from the driftwood, and, of course, a number of small fires surrounded by friends chatting away into the darkening night.

this structure was much closer to the shoreline than most so I couldn’t resist taking a pic in the gathering gloom

Strictly Come Dancing is nearing it’s end now and I’m pleased to say Bill Bailey is still in as a contender in the Final this weekend! He won’t win, that should be Hrvy or Maisie (should, they are the best dancers but as the Final is purely on the public vote it comes down to popularity rather than a flawless performance) but it’s great that he’s made it this far. He deserves it after bringing metal to Strictly! Oh yes, on Saturday night his second dance was a tango to Enter Sandman by Metallica!! (It was a pretty good rendition by the house band) And a nice bit of trivia, the song (Won’t You Come Home) Bill Bailey that Bill and Oti did a Charleston to was where Bill took his name from after a teacher kept singing it at school – his real name is Mark.

I really must mention our very own furry Esther Williams, she’s really wow-ing the fans now. Our neighbourhood otter was taking a breather on the rocks at the edge of Dunsapie Loch just feet away from folk all stunned to see her so close (ok, yes, I was fairly amazed myself when I saw how chilled she was at the close proximity to people). Even when she went back in, she swam along the bank, diving down every couple of minutes, stunning! I must admit I thought otters had little stubby noses but this pic shows otherwise. Honestly, it is the otter and not a strange looking dog!

Strictly 2020 for the fans

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Yay, even in this Covid-ridden year Strictly Come Dancing is back on our telly screens, albeit with fewer contestants and all very distanced. I’m certainly not missing the audience whooping and clapping at every little thing, maybe if something is extraordinarily amazing that’s fine, but otherwise I wish they’d just contain themselves until the end of each dance. There’s been a very limited audience in the studio but with the second lockdown even that was prohibited. The last few shows have had the competing couples sat at the little cabaret-style tables to replace the missing audience, I like it.

This year Strictly started with twelve couples rather than fifteen, sadly one couple has had to drop out as one of the pair had a positive corona virus test (there’s lots of careful bubbling and testing going on). There’s only three judges instead of four because Bruno is staying in America to do Dancing With The Stars again (previous years he was flying back and forth every week!) Last weekend another judge, Motsi, was away as she is currently self-isolating after a necessary visit to Germany; on the bright side of that, Anton Du Beke has been a marvellous stand-in for her. In fact I reckon he should stay on after Motsi’s return, so getting back to a full quota of judges. To be honest, I’ve never cared for him much but as a judge he’s really shone; being knocked out in the very first dance-off (I knew he’d be first out, that Jacqui Smith was just bad) turned out just fine!

Every year I seem to know fewer of the contestants, many moan on social media about “z listers” on the show, meaning they haven’t heard of them, but in actual fact I would say that’s a good thing as it indicates how diverse the celebrities are and there’s someone for everyone. I don’t watch morning tv, chat shows (Graham Norton is my one exception), the news or any of the soaps and I have little interest in sports; that right there precludes me from recognising over half the contestants. You-tubers, vloggers, Radio 1 dj’s, they just aren’t on my radar – damn it, yes, that’s a younger generation’s game (I’m not old, really, I’m not). This year I only know two contestants well – Bill Bailey (as previously mentioned) and Caroline Quentin, both of whom I’ve loved for years; I did recognise Clara Amfo (Radio 1) but couldn’t place her, until a repeat of Richard Osman’s House of Games on Dave, ahha, yeah, she’s fun, I like her.

So, Bill Bailey, that’s the Older Gent and Comic categories both ticked off; both in one package together and the masses just think “oh, the funny turn, he’ll be hamming it up to get laughs and hopefully votes, ’cause God knows, he’ll be rubbish!” Fair enough, that has happened in previous years, but this is Bill Bailey we’re talking about. Oo, my ears pricked up on hearing he was taking part, his benign, bewildered smile and laidback manner would belie the fact that he is intelligent, meticulous and competitive. Of course, his musical skills would not necessarily translate into dancing ability, as Strictly fans will be aware from previous series. Fear not, his learning skills are as quick as his wits; his inquisitive nature has seen him research each dance style to gain a better understanding of it, he’s nothing if not thorough!

Okay, so I wrote the above four days, it was very late so I took a break. Honestly, I did mean to finish it the next morning, best laid plans. Yay, Bill is still in but Caroline left this evening, it was the dreaded cha cha cha that did for her. Most celebrities find it difficult and it’s almost like a death knell for anyone over forty. Luckily Bill got it out of the way in the very first week when no one goes out, mind, he’s got the jive this week, it’ll need every bit of stamina he’s got! But Bill has something besides his musicality that will have been a great asset – a strong core. Bill loves paddleboarding, does it whenever wherever he can, and while it’s low impact it is a good workout for a body, upper, core and legs. Strong leg muscles will have made his dance training much less of a shock to his system than it usually is to middle-aged celebrities.

His posture even in week two for the quickstep was really good, he was so light on his feet and precise too! Week three, movie week, saw Bill and Oti coming second on the leader board with their paso doble to the theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. It was a tad magnificent. A good tune can really help win the public vote too, and Bill and Oti had another doozy up their sleeves for week four – only Rapper’s Delight by The Sugarhill Gang! This was for their Couple’s Choice Street Dance, another second place. Gotta mention the seriously dapper pinstriped suits too, they looked as sharp as they danced!

This weekend Strictly would normally have been in the Blackpool Tower Ballroom, a weekend every couple wants to reach and the ante is ratcheted up a notch. Of course, this being 2020, the Blackpool feeling was woven in Elstree and everyone was feeling it! So at least Caroline and Johannes made it to Blackpool Weekend, yay, for them. Bill and Oti wowed again with an American Smooth to I’ve Got You Under My Skin, but with the competition hotting up they came fifth equal on the leader board.

It’s a tough year to call the finalists, but, ah, no, it would the kiss of death, wouldn’t it? As long as it’s great dancing and stunning outfits I’m one happy moose.

Night all 💛

Let’s talk about Bill

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Last post I mentioned Bill Bailey and the place he holds in my Happy box, which got me remembering all the other great stuff I’ve seen him do. Really, he’s popped up more times than I would have guessed off the cuff. So here’s a potted history of me and Mr Bailey……..

Apparently he first came up to the Fringe in 1994 as part of a two man show, going solo the following year, then, third time lucky he was nominated for a Perrier 1996 (not so lucky that he won but hey). This was around the time I began to really embrace the Fringe, I didn’t see him perform but I was aware of him. Oh yeah, by 1999 Bud and I were fans, we were yelping with delight when he turned up in the tv comedy sitcom Spaced as the owner of a comic book store!

2000 saw Bill on the telly again as Manny Bianco in the totally and utterly brilliant Black Books. Not for everyone, mind, but my fancy was well tickled by it. Bill, Tamsin Greig and Dylan Moran were great together, usually stuck bickering in Bernard Black’s (Moran) bookshop (in three series very little took place outside of the shop and it’s living space behind). Mind you, I don’t think Dylan Moran was stretching himself much – from what I’ve heard from friends (have I ever mentioned our Fringe game, Meringue, and its origin?).

In 2002 Bill became one of the team captains of my favourite tv panel show at the time Never Mind the Buzzcocks battling against Phil Jupitus’ team, presided over by quiz master Mark Lamarr. Oh, that was great entertainment, if at times a tad cruel to some of the guest panellists. Lamarr actually became less caustic with his humour as time went on, his teddy boy solid as a board quiff soften too. Then Lamarr left and after a series with guest presenters youngster Simon Amstell took over the chair; it was like the humour of early NMTB again but meaner, Amstell obviously wanted to make his mark but his needling and determination to get a rise out of his victims just got annoying at times. In 2008 after a second series with the new chair and with eleven series under his belt, Bill took his leave of the show; I’ve read that Bill revised his attitudes to comedy around this time, “cruel” comedy was shown the door.

Meanwhile, when not filming series of NMTB, Bill was back at the Fringe. In 2003 he brought us not only his new show Part Troll but he also acted in Guy Masterson’s all-star cast production of 12 Angry Men. Bud and I saw and thoroughly enjoyed both (mind, that “all-star” thing seemed to mean stand-up comedians). To our delight two years later he trod the boards again in The Odd Couple with Alan Davies as the other half (another Guy Masterson production). That was, of course, the first time we saw Bill’s band, not listed in the Fringe programme just on the Gilded Balloon’s own.

Those are my stand out BB moments, since then he’s acted on the big and small screen (oo yeah, the Dr Who Christmas Special in 2011); there’s the guesting on panel shows and he’s presented various programmes on topics from baboons to orchestras; tours around the world, books, radio shows, and a load other stuff!! A man of many talents, indeed. Just last month he published a new book Bill Bailey’s Remarkable Guide to Happiness, that’s so on my Christmas list! Oh, and last month he also joined this year’s Strictly Come Dancing!! Oh yay, another excuse to talk about Strictly. I suspect my UK readers knew that was coming 😊.

Toodle oo, chaps.

Happy?!

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In 2019 the loveliest man to grace a Fringe stage was back again with his new show Aidan Goatley: Happy Britain Part I, naturally I went along. Happy Britain? He told how he came up with an idea of going to the centre of every county in the UK and asking the first person he met, “What makes you happy?” Part I? Well, you know, life, best laid plans, et al, there was to be a Part II this year, and a book too! God only knows when that’s gonna happen now!! Mind you, his wife is a vicar so she could make enquiries!

The show was as good as expected – that being an engaging, charming, thoroughly entertaining hour that went by way too quickly for my liking. I could have happily sat another hour in that state of warm, fuzzy cheeriness (oh and the room did have good air conditioning – a bonus). The pic is from Mr Goatley’s bit in the Fringe programme. I think his attire may be a reference to Arthur Dent in HHGTTG, I seem to vaguely remember something, but I could have dreamt it.

Some time later I found myself musing on Aidan’s question, indeed, what made me happy, really happy? Where was my happy place? Could I answer that without resorting to flippancy? You see, though I always do my best to present myself as a jovial and happy-go-lucky chap, I am no stranger to melancholy; I knew I’d been slowly sinking into the doldrums for some time, my spark wasn’t very sparky anymore, more like an ember. Oh sure, Edinburgh in August (when there’s a Fringe on!) but what about the rest of it? I mulled over it for some time, if I could figure out the true honest answer could I use it as a compass to lead myself out of the doldrums on to firmer ground?

Actually, it’s the reason why I like the Fringe so much, it’s that blissed out fuzziness of witnessing a great feelgood show (usually accompanied by a goofy smile). It’s sitting listening to Aidan’s stories, it’s watching an hour of surreal sketches about three sperm, it’s the fun of watching a troup of actors allowing themselves to be dictated to by a roulette wheel of absurd scenarios.

And it’s being at a Logan’s Close gig, any time of the year. Oh yeah, there’s my Happy. No wonder this year’s been hard – I haven’t seen them since January! And on bands, one of my most memorable happy times was at the Fringe in 2005, late night in the Debating Hall at Teviot watching Bill Bailey’s band Beergut 100. The sheer exuberance of the band and the crowd was intoxicating, and when Kevin Eldon sang a seriously punked up The sun’ll come out tomorrow oh my heartses! The room was a big sweaty blob of happy!

As a young moose I used to daydream, as so many do, about being a great performer, acting or singing, both, I’d be amazing!! Once we get past the time of when our dreams were meant to somehow be happening (with no effort from ourselves), it’s woulda, coulda, shoulda. Then, one night, I don’t remember when, who or where, but I do remember having an epiphany, I was Audience – being a great audience is important, without an audience what is a show? I shouldn’t be looking up wishing I was the one on the stage, that’s not me; I’m the one giving my undivided attention, watching, listening, absorbing the atmosphere; I’m the one whooping and cheering and clapping, showing my appreciation to the performers.

Oo, that got a bit profound there! Thinking on it, I know it changed my perspective and my being. Would recognising my Happy bring on another change? Then 2020 came along and the whole world has been spun off kilter. Will Aidan ever get to do his Part Deux? Will hugging ever come back? There’s a great deal of Happy in hugging.

Bonne nuit, mes amis 💛